Coping Up from Post Traumatic Stress

--> Last night, October 7, 2009 while listening to the radio, I came across a topic of PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder discussion. As I've listened further, I have concluded that I experienced this kind of stress after the heist incident.
Never mind the things I have lost - credit cards, debit cards, health card, cell phones, gadgets, money, government ID's, etc. but the fear that was inflicted on me was severe.

The incident leads me to fright and trouble to my inner emotions.

I have re-experienced original trauma by having flashbacks and nightmares. I have difficulty falling asleep. I can’t control my anger and this leads me to be impaired in my social life.

There are times (most of the times) that I am looking to nowhere, thinking of what had happened makes me terrified especially to people who don't look nice. My heart pounded as loud as my ears can hear when darkness comes and the light fades away.

I have no FOCUS!

Every time I go home from the office, I walk as fast as my feet can take me. Every face I see along the way makes a mark on my mind. I try to look and memorize their appearance, any marks to distinguish them. I hold really tight on my long straight umbrella, ready, and waiting to strike any time there's someone who makes a mistake. I even know the people's outfit from my 180-degree view. I can smell their perfume or salty sweat, their murmurings and whisperings with their comrades, and observant on their body movements.

I got scared when I see a person who looks rubbish, rugged, and who really stares at me long enough that it sends a chill on my spine. My feet are ready to run and my eyes opened as wide as it can be. As I ride a public vehicle, I automatically scan the faces of the fellow passengers, hopped off whenever I noticed somebody who is suspicious.

I am easily startled!

I indulged myself to war games in which there are tools that I can defend myself using weapons, special abilities, and armors. Further, it was very addictive and FANCY indeed!

There are times that a friend tried to kid me by surprisingly pulling my bag and pushing me to the edge of the wall. My instant reaction was very offensive and he received a hard punch on the face. Well, I have no idea that he is a comrade but my reaction leads me to a deep thought.

There is something wrong with me.

I have cried several times, troubled that I will not get back on my regular life. It seems that I can never get over of what had happened. I don’t feel normal… helpless!

I have discussed my feelings, my thoughts, and my actions to my family, loved ones, and friends. I tried to associate myself with other people and mingling by attending different activities. I spent some time in charity, spent happy moments with family, going out for a movie, and visiting friends.

I avoided being alone.

I have sought advisers and understand that those incidents were not a daily encounter. It happens some times, once in a while, but not often times. It is normal that tragic thing happens, but this does not happen on my daily routine.

There are other extra help I get and most importantly am constantly praying to God. Asking help to abide me and keep me away from danger.

It took some time before I recovered...

About 8 months of surviving the trauma.

The experience made me vigilant especially on my safety.

Thanks to those who helped me. An every day conversations and reassurance helps me feel better. The undying love of family and relatives who always support me whatever the circumstance is.